Dear Phone…Dating in 2018 is the worst

Dear Phone,

So it has come to my attention, or I just noticed, that I’ve been using a lot of dating apps lately as I attempt to take control of my life and get someone to enjoy life with. You are probably judging me pretty hardcore. I would be judging hardcore if I was you. I thought to shed some light onto dating scene for you. I hope this isn’t too much for you to deal with, especially when we are dating. Like I said in the first date, this would pretty much be an open relationship.

Dating in 2018 isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. First off, I’m gay and live in one of the many small villages in Ohio. There isn’t a lot of chances for me to actually meet someone without having to go to a club. I’m honestly not a big fan of the club scene. Have you been to a gay club? It’s pretty much a bunch of hot, sweaty men grinding on you in public so they can hook up with you later on. There’s also drag queens there but that really isn’t a drawback. Drag queens are amazing and make everything better. Literally, we should have a drag queen run the country. It’s a shock now that straight people are truly understanding why drag queens are some of the greatest people you will ever meet.

Now, I understand that not everyone in clubs is like that but they aren’t usually easy to find at the clubs. They are usually somewhere off on the sides with their friends secluded and drinking in all the crazy. It’s rather intimidating to approach people when they are in a crowd. It’s like being out in the savannah and being a single animal. You really don’t know what going to happen when you approaching a herd. Sometime the herd will try to kill outsiders. Other times, it just makes the denial much harder because it’s embarrassing to be denied in front of a large group. You might as well just rip your pants and walk around it in.

Then if you don’t want to go to “da club,” there are plenty of dating apps. I frankly hate dating apps. I’m still on them because there’s the small glimmer of hope still left in my eye. But they are usually just looking for one thing and one thing only: sex. I’m honestly not looking for just only sex. I rather have the entire package. But from some of the apps, that isn’t going to happen anytime soon.

To top it all off, you are also getting judged on what you look like before they could even get to know you. What’s the point of typing out a bio if you are just going to judge by my pictures? And before you say anything, I do the same thing the others on there too. It’s pot calling the kettle black. I’m okay with admitting it but I’m trying to improve that aspect of dating. Like I’ll look at the pictures and also read what they put in their bio.  So if you put in your bio that you do drugs or smoke then I rule you out regardless of how hot I find you. I’m trying to get a much big glimpse at the person than just what they look like.

Dating is still sucks. This is probably just me venting because I’m not getting anywhere just because of the way I look and not based on my character. I know that I’m not unattractive but judging some based on their looks, which is what dating apps are promoting, is probably why people feel the need to not be themselves. If they themselves aren’t getting anywhere to finding someone to love, they turn themselves into someone who will. They aren’t being their authentic self.

Like, what’s the point of being someone you’re not? Be you. If someone isn’t falling for you, then they aren’t the one. Move on. Especially being in the LGBTQ+. I’ve spent a countless number of years of hiding/pretending that I didn’t want to date a guy. I’m not going to pretend to not be me again. If you don’t like something about me and it’s a deal breaker, then bye. I don’t need you.

Thank you for listening to me vent…again. This won’t be the last time either. You are the best and you shouldn’t change for anyone.

Yours Truly,

Steven Kaufman

P.S. Since we are now dating, make sure you follow me on Twitter and Instagram. I’m like the social media mogul version of Tinkerbell. Just instead of people believing I exist, I need those follows to live.


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