Dear Phone…Here’s why Britney Spears is my idol

Dear Phone,

I thought it would be a good idea to lighten the mood a little bit. The last couple of conversations have been extremely deep and not so much happy. This one should be a little happier. We are going to talk about how Britney Jean Spears is my idol.

Before we get into details, let’s just get this out-of-the-way because I know that you are probably judging me. Yes, I’m a male that has a female as their idol. It’s 2018. If you have a problem with this then you need to get with the times. I hope you don’t because there’s nothing wrong with that because frankly, this is over if you do. You don’t? Then good.

With the recent events with Demi Lovato, and having a friend that is like a hardcore sane Lovatic (Demi told her that she smelled good), it made me see a lot of parallels between what happened with Demi and what my own idol went through in 2007. It’s very strange and eerie to see it pay out like this. While the situations are totally different, there is still a lot of things that happened to Demi that happened to Britney.

dyvycc1xcaaw8lxI’ve been following Britney Spears since the “…Baby One More Times” days. My dad burned me her first CD. I loved that CD. Britney’s “Oops! I Did it Again” was the first album that I purchased with my own money. I played that album over and over again. My parent’s hated the album. I lost it and crushed my little soul. It was when she got mature that I started to fall off a little bit. I think of a lot of that was the fact that a guy could really enjoy her music without getting judged. As you remember from me talking about my time in Middle School and High School, I was already getting bullied, I didn’t need to give them any more reason to add to it.

I did come back when she released her greatest hits album, which I still considered to contain the most underrated two unreleased songs in her discography: “My Prerogative” and “Doin’ Something.” By the time that I did a come back to the Britney fold, it was when Britney was married to that asshole K-Fed and was starting her downward spiral. I’m not proud of myself as a Britney Stan during this time. I got on the bandwagon of dissing her. I even wrote a piece for the school newspaper where I made fun of her 2007 VMA performance. I’m very glad that it’s extremely hard to find that piece. I’ve since moved on and paid for those “sins” against Britney.

britney-spears-las-vegas-continuesBritney has been a huge part of my life. I know the choreography for “Oops! I did it Again.” I would show that off to you but it’s not as polished as when I was younger. I even performed it in a talent show with a mic and all. Spoiler: my dancing was on fleek but it was a shit show. My mic didn’t work until the end. I’m still waiting to go to one of her shows to see the Queen perform live. I’ve been heavily keeping up with her current tour on social media and YouTube. In fact, I’ve watched the entire tour and Las Vegas residency on YouTube. I literally fanboy when they crowd screams “Who is it?” at her during her performance of “Gimme More.”

But I can say in one way or another, I’ve been along with her for the ride. I grew up with her. She’s 10 years older than I am but I matured along with her. People may poke fun at her still because she isn’t dancing the same when she was 20 or she’s lip-syncing on stage, which I could go on with defending her but this isn’t the place. The fact is that she doesn’t let it bother her. Regardless of what is being said about her, she just ignores it and is just like “let me enjoy all of this success while you try to tear me down.” It’s extremely inspiring.

She has had her ups and downs and lost her way. But who hasn’t? She still managed to come back and be better than ever. Right now, she’s the best she’s ever looked. She’s what I think of when people fall to rock bottom and then rise up like a phoenix. Britney Spears is the queen of resiliency. When I’m having a rough time, I just think about Britney and how if she can overcome what she did, then I’m able to get through what I am going through in my life.

Horrible picture of me but it’s my first and only Britney shirt…for now.

“If Britney Spears can make it through 2007, you can make it through this” is something that I live by. For some, it’s a joke. I use it to keep me positive and thinking positively. As soon as you don’t have hope or positivity, whatever you going through takes over and you can’t overcome if you don’t have hope you will. If Britney was able to overcome all the shit she went through in 2007, then you can make it through whatever you are going through.

You may laugh at how I’m viewing this person that I haven’t, and probably never, met before but I have a strong emotional connection to them. It’s something you cannot explain. It’s what I have for Britney Spears. While I like to think I’m more realistic than more of the other fans, I would probably be an emotional wreck if something would have happened to Britney.

If you really want to see why Britney is my idol, then watch “Britney: For the Record.” It’s one of the best documentaries that she was ever done. It was recorded right after the 2008 VMAs and she talks about EVERYTHING. Younger me was living for the tea that Britney was given the world. It was the more open and real that she has ever been. Oh, and avoid “Britney: For the Record.” I’m still waiting on proof that a Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake sex tape exists. As well as the fact they had a dance-off in the middle of the club.

Hopefully, you understand my love for Britney Spears. Here’s a cheat sheet for all my favorite things Britney has done. I’m also able to admit to some of the stuff she has done isn’t good, so I’ve also included the worst. All of it is my opinion. You’re welcome.



Yours Truly,

Steven Kaufman

P.S. Since we are now dating, make sure you follow me on Twitter and Instagram. I’m like the social media mogul version of Tinkerbell. Just instead of people believing I exist, I need those follows to live.

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