This is one of those conversations where I need to verbalize what I am feeling because today is one of those days that I’m just feeling depressed. I’m just not feeling myself and I’m in just in one of those moods. These are literally what is going through my head as I’m sitting here feeling all these things that I’m feeling.
I’m in one of those depressions where I don’t want to socialize and I just want to do my own things and kinda just be left alone. Then at the same time, I’m just lonely. Like, is this normal? I feel like it’s not just because it doesn’t make any sense. I don’t want to socialize but yet I’m lonely. Is this real life? One would assume that if you are feeling lonely, you would want to be around people. But not in my world.
Nothing really triggered it. It was just one of those times where I just kind of woke up feeling down and I haven’t been able to shake it. It’s not like I’m angry with anyone or upset in general. It wasn’t until like half way through the day that it didn’t get better but rather kind of getting a little bit worst.
I started to just feel lonely. Like I just wanted someone kind of be depressed with. Now, that sounds rather sad. It’s just like I just wanted someone to lay around with and just chill. Someone to cuddle and just go through the emotions with. Someone to just talk and have deep conversations with. I’m just tired of being single.
As this continued on, I started to think about the fact that I’m single and not really wanting to be single. I’m rather shocked that my anxiety didn’t kick in because it turned in me wondering if I will ever find someone. Then I start to worry about it because it’s rather scary to think about going through totally and utterly alone. You try not to think about it but you can’t help it. No one wants to feel that way. I also can’t help but worry about it. My mind is just racing and going through the emotions. This is how my mind works. This is probably a little bit of my anxiety kicking in.
I’m just feeling empty and like there’s something missing. It feels like I’m missing a piece of my puzzle and I just can’t seem find that missing piece. No one wants to feel empty and alone. For some odd reason, that’s what I’m feeling. I can’t shake it nor doesn’t it feel like I’m going to get over it. I know I will because there’s always the light at the end of the tunnel. I just want this lonely feeling to go away so I can just breathe and be happy.
It kind of makes it better to express what I’m feeling. Still feeling it but I feel like I’ve gotten a little bit better. Hopefully, I can find someone not to help deal with all too this but just to share what I’m feeling and so I don’t feel so alone. Until then, thank you for listening. I really appreciate it. I don’t think people realize how just listening to someone ramble or explain what they are going though can help them greatly. So again, thank you for just being there.
P.S. Since we are now dating, make sure you follow me on Twitter and Instagram. I’m like the social media mogul version of Tinkerbell. Just instead of people believing I exist, I need those follows to live.