Dear phone…why is everyone obsessed with people’s sex life?

Dear Phone,

I missed you…okay, that’s a lie because you’ve been with me everyday. It’s not like I’m obsessed with you but at the same time, I rely on you for pretty much everything. Without you, I would be rather lost and confused. I would also be off the grid, which isn’t a bad thing.

So I went on a Twitter rant the other day because frankly, I’m tired of people. I’m tired of Ignorance. This was based off of my one of my previous co-workers. She was a very nice lady but would always talk about the fact that women don’t do it for me with the preface that “She doesn’t agree with my “lifestyle.” She would also state that it’s not her place to judge others, but that was God’s job. I was usually nice about it and just let it rolled off because I’ve heard worst. She would then ask about things like “how do I know women don’t do it for me if I have never tried?” or “would you ever date a women?”  It’s not that I was really offended by the questions but rather why people believe that being LGBTQA is a lifestyle choice.

I’m more offended by someone thinking that who I fall in-love is a lifestyle then someone asking a lot of personal questions. Do you really think people would care or put with the amount of shit that we deal with if it was simple lifestyle choice? Do you really think I would have dealt with the shit I did in high school and middle school if it was a simple change in lifestyle? I cannot control who I fall in love with. The heart wants what it wants. Also, why do it really matter who I fall in love with as long as I’m happy?

Why do people care this much about who I may or may not having sex with? I’m not going to get preachy but that pretty much all that is going on when people say they are against homosexuality or anything LGBTQA. I feel like Regina George and just want to scream at Janice Ian “Why are you obsessed with me?” Like, why do people care so deeply about who is getting off by who? Is there sex so bad that they are jealous? I’m honored that someone cares so deeply about my non-existent sex life. I wish I cared so much about my non-existent sex life so that maybe it would happen. Probably still won’t but hey, I can dream. That came off dirtier then I wanted it too.

I have a brilliant idea, let’s focus our energies onto something more productive. Instead of worrying who/how I’m getting my rocks off, let’s try fixing the mess of a country that we are. And while we are talking about how much of a mess our country is, let’s have a small chat about why a bunch of bitter white straight males shouldn’t be able to tell me who I can and can not love/marry. Just because you aren’t getting any, doesn’t mean you should really ruin my chances.

Honestly, it’s none of anyone business that about who I love. I personally don’t care about stranger’s love lives and I expect them to not care about mine. If it was their business, then I allowed them to know about it because I like and trust them. If someone is offended by my choice in love, then I feel sorry for them. I feel sorry that they are so unhappy that they feel the need to worry about others and make sure they feel unhappy like they are. I feel sorry that they need to control my life because they have no control over their own. I feel sorry for them because something in life made them the way they are.

So let’s top worrying about mine and other’s sex lives and just be civil fucking human beings. Doesn’t sound hard right? Well, it apparently is.

Yours Truly,

Steven Kaufman

P.S. Since we are now dating, make sure you follow me on Twitter and Instagram. I’m like the social media mogul version of Tinkerbell. Just instead of people believing I exist, I need those follows to live.




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