Happy New Year! It’s now 2020, and it’s a time for a fresh start. A fresh coat of paint on life and everything that makes it up. In the iconic words of Gabrielle Montez and Troy Bolton, “This could be the start of something new.” And believe me, phone, it feels so right to be here with you, oh. Okay, that sounds a bit creepy. But isn’t life creepy? Spoiler: it is. It’s very creepy.
I’ve lived through almost three decades. I’m old as fuck. Okay, I’m not really, but it feels like it. I don’t feel like I’m 28 going on 55. I feel like I’m still in my early twenties. And I even look like that too. But I decided that in 2020, I’m going to do more things for me and what I want to do with my life. So I’m holding myself accountable and making some New Year Resolutions. And by telling you them, then you will be able to hold me responsible. If I tell someone about my New Year Resolutions, then it’s out there. So here are my Resolutions:
To Be Happy
I’m frankly tired of just feeling meh or just under satisfied with how my life is. I don’t hate my job, I like the people I work with, and everything like that. It just that I’m not entirely happy with how it’s going. In 2020, I’m going to actually do something about it. I’m going to try to stay financially sound while doing it, but sometimes you have to take a plunge and try not to drown. I think this is the year to do that. I’m better off now then I said when I first left college, so why not just do it.
To just be me
Frankly, it gets annoying when you try to not to be yourself. It’s exhausting as fuck. So I’m going to just be me and people don’t accept me for me, then screw them. I haven’t really been lying or passively hiding things about me, but like you have to be a tad bit worried in this day and age. You never know who is going to be so hateful that they will attack, mock, or even kill you for being you.
I always remember this quote from the movie “Love, Simon;” “Announcing who you are to the world is pretty terrifying, because what if the world doesn’t like you?” That speaks so much to the world today. But that’s a story for another day. I’m going to try my best to stop worrying about that and focus on living my best life. People already have assumptions about me because it’s just human nature. If they are going to judge and hate me because I’m gay, they aren’t the people for me. Period. End of Story.
At one point, my Spanish was kind enough to where I could read it and understand probably 75% of it. That was back in High School, which was literally 10 years ago. Note to self: expect to get info on a ten-year reunion that I may or may not, probably not, attending. Ugh. Bitches. But I would like to get better at that. Mainly so I can tell if people are talking about me. I’m slightly joking about that. I would like to get back to the point where I could read it and know what’s going on.
This one is extraordinarily stereotypical, but I would like to get healthier. I’m better than where I was a few years ago, but my goal is to get on a steady schedule to where I’m in the habit of working out, eating healthier, etc. So my goal is a regular workout, eat a little bit better and in moderation, etc. I’m not looking for toned body/abs, I mean I won’t say not to them. I have a stereotype to live up to. But I’m honestly just looking to be the best version of me that I can be. All around the best version of me.
I’m going to write more
I’m going to come to you to chat more. I need someone to vent, talk, and just freely speak my mind to. You have been the one designated for this. Congrats. It’s truly an honor that everyone should strive for, being my sounding board. I’m going to try to also blog more on my actual blog. At this point, I’ve come to the realization that I might not be able to make anything out of it, but I do enjoy it. I’m still lost with it, and I honestly think it shows. I need to get refocused on it. To do that, I need to use it more and write more until I figure out what sticks. It’s like riding a bike.
Those are at least the five significant resolutions that I would like to happen this year. Please keep me on these. The main thing is change. I need something to change. I’m going to make that happen so I can be me, happier, and a better overall version of me. I’m going to let myself go with the flow as well as take matters into my own hands to be happy. I need/want to be satisfied. 2020 will be my year for this. Until next time, my friend.
Thank you for listening. Hope to talk to you soon